Reflection Paper from session 5…..RITUAL

During our discussion around grief in session 5, it was concluded that 3 of the most important things to consider are story, imagination and ritual.  What immediately came to my mind was the ‘green funeral’ that I had the privilege of taking a small part in several years ago.

For convenience sake I will name the person dying, Mary and her life partner of 25 years, Sally.  Mary had a very strong spiritual life and her final days were filled with the sound of taped chantings from her guru.  I saw Mary 24 hours after she had died and was privileged to sit vigil with her body which had been done by friends and family who had gathered since her death.  Her body had not been left alone for one minute since her passing.  It was fall so fortunately the weather was cool and there was no odor what so ever.

To my astonishment, Mary’s body was supple and glowing.  I found myself compelled to check her pulse to make sure she was really dead.  Even after 24 hours from the time she was pronounced, she appeared only to be sleeping.  There were 7 of us women who prepared her body for the simple biodegradable pine box that she would be buried in.  We chanted while we anointed her body with oils.  Sally lovingly placed rose pedals from Mary’s head to her pelvis before we wrapped her ever so gently and lovingly in a swath of material.  We turned her side to side until her body was completely covered from head to toe in this material.  There was so much love and reverence during this entire ritual and I felt so honored to be part of it.  There was no funeral home involved.  Sally rented a van and drove Mary to the cemetery for the grave side funeral.

Having that extra time for Sally to care for her beloved in their home and have the memory of how she laid Mary to rest had to have been an enormous comfort to her during her journey through grief.  For me, it was a profound experience that I shall always treasure and I am forever grateful to Sally for allowing me to take part in such a sacred ritual.  Blessings to all…….